Wednesday, June 9, 2010


Some people don't like the label of girlfriend or boyfriend. I think it a show of ownership, something off limits, or a safe zone? I know for a fact that I have little to no idea. I just recently got out of a relantionship that lasted for a little over a year. He was a cool guy, it was just his temper and his expectations. He had a lot of good qualities. I don't regret going out with him. He was my first boyfriend since I left high school. Though, relationships in high school are worthless and just simple puppy love. Nothing real. Relationships take a lot of work. I don't feel like he did anything to keep me with him. No, that's a lie. He did in the past, but then stopped. He had me and then he didn't. We ended on a break and I turned it into a break up because breaks are nothing but false hope. Then we went back out and he didn't trust me because another guy popped up and I was accused of cheating. The entire time I was confused and knew I didn't cheat. I don't know. I talked to my co-workers for advice and opinions. I ended up breaking up with him because the last phone conversation was horrible. He'd say sorry but than yell at me for something else, like 3-4 times. I broke up with him the next morning. In all honesty, I was scared of him because he said he would use every thing against me int he future. You can't make that seem like a good thing. I couldn't deal with that. He's really good with using words while I am not.

After I left him, the new guy popped up again. I appreciate his company but we are not in a relantionship. I enjoy his company because it's something I care about when looking for someone. Someone who won't complain about me not talking. I don't know. After getting out of a relantionship, anything is possible. We already talked about the "rebound." I though I was the rebound and he thought he was the rebound. It was amusing. He's easy to talk to and he's sweet. He's talented and very passionate. It's a bit different from what I just got out of but we're both just testing the water. So far I like the temperature but I don't want to go too fast, though I'm sure it's too late for that.

I've never just dated people. I always just went straight into the relantionship of being labeled as a girlfriend. I want to be happy. I want to see what's out there, but I just can't help but miss what I just got out of. I miss him. I do. Just right now isn't the time for me to be doing this with what all has happened. Only time will tell and hopefully something good will come my way.

1 comment:

  1. That's one thing I've never understood about dating. I dunno if it's just our culture, or if human beings love giving things labels. Perhaps it's a way of making something tangible and familiar. A comfort blanket. Seems like as soon as you go on a date with someone, you're bonded forever.

    Either way, I dislike the fact that people can't just go on regular old dates anymore. It's a dying trend, but a very important one too. Seems like everyone is just dying to grow up and HAVE something. People question you if you're a free spirit trying to make a decision, but later go on to judge your relationship if it turns out to be a bad decision. It makes no sense really.

    All I know is, it's not good to be rushed...or labelled...or anything of the sort. I'm sure as hell that people just wanna be happy. You want to be happy. And what makes people happy differs from person to person. What makes a good relationship is when you find the one that is happy when you are happy. I'm sure it takes a long time. Few people ever find the one, and if they do, sometimes times change and they end up breaking up or divorcing for one reason or another. But instead of rushing in, some early warning signs can be seen when you date. There lies the importance of it, in my opinion anyway.

    At least you seem to be optimistic about the future, that's wonderful. You're an amazing person, so keep that head up.